I have to new to blog about but it's finding the space and time to let it all out!
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
Random
I used to be able to sit down and have words flow from my mind, I didnt care about the grammar, I just wanted to write how I felt. Now I it feels like I write what I think people want me to write, yet I am not even sure anyone reads my blog anymore, I don't read it as well so I don't blame them.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Job hunting
I must admit, I was very naive with regards to the job market in South Africa. I came here 2 years ago and have been job hunting since then.
Yes, it doesn't help that I am not South African but I thought there was a bigger need here than in Botswana. In Botswana at least I understand that there are fewer companies and the industry really is small.
I was hungry for more and I thought I would get a job similar to the one I had back home. Well, I have gone for a number of interviews and the one thing that has stood between me and getting the job has always been that getting me a work permit would be a hassle and a half. Guess I wasn't good enough neh? Well, I am not going to get into a self pitying mood ( I have my family and friends in Botswana doing that for me just fine)
Truth be told though, the more I think about it, the more I realise that I really do not want to do what I trained for. Yes, I have experience in that field. Yes, I stand a higher chance of getting a job in that profession than any other as I have a bit of experience in that field, but it doesn't make me happy.
It will be a job (once I get it) but a job I do not really love or like. My last job had its moments, but I always wished I could do something else. I did start to find what I could do, what I loved but the need for money, for employment (guaranteed salary) always stops me before I fully understand. I guess I am confused when it comes to my own life. I keep letting people tell me what I need to do or how I should do it and I cannot take a stand and say this is what I am going to do and I am going to make it work.
If I had concentrated on finding my path 2 years ago and not done anything else, I would have found it by now.
I think I am going to set aside time to pray and meditate on that. Let God lead me and show me what to do. I feel like I have been running around senselessly like a headless chicken for so long.
I am only 30 years old and having a mid life crisis. Is it even possible?
Yes, it doesn't help that I am not South African but I thought there was a bigger need here than in Botswana. In Botswana at least I understand that there are fewer companies and the industry really is small.
I was hungry for more and I thought I would get a job similar to the one I had back home. Well, I have gone for a number of interviews and the one thing that has stood between me and getting the job has always been that getting me a work permit would be a hassle and a half. Guess I wasn't good enough neh? Well, I am not going to get into a self pitying mood ( I have my family and friends in Botswana doing that for me just fine)
Truth be told though, the more I think about it, the more I realise that I really do not want to do what I trained for. Yes, I have experience in that field. Yes, I stand a higher chance of getting a job in that profession than any other as I have a bit of experience in that field, but it doesn't make me happy.
It will be a job (once I get it) but a job I do not really love or like. My last job had its moments, but I always wished I could do something else. I did start to find what I could do, what I loved but the need for money, for employment (guaranteed salary) always stops me before I fully understand. I guess I am confused when it comes to my own life. I keep letting people tell me what I need to do or how I should do it and I cannot take a stand and say this is what I am going to do and I am going to make it work.
If I had concentrated on finding my path 2 years ago and not done anything else, I would have found it by now.
I think I am going to set aside time to pray and meditate on that. Let God lead me and show me what to do. I feel like I have been running around senselessly like a headless chicken for so long.
I am only 30 years old and having a mid life crisis. Is it even possible?
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Good help
I am sure you thinking, she is a housewife, no kids, what is she talking about. Well, being a housewife isnt all about slaving away with the cleaning and laundry and all that. Heck, if that was all I did I would go mad and I would be so tired when my husband got home that all I would do would be to feed him and be off to bed to wake up the next day and do it again.
Actually, when I first moved here I would get so bored that I would clean everyday and actually handwash his clothes (even though I reacted to detergent). It gave me something to do, at the end of the day at least I would have done that. But I would be dog tired and extra depressed when dear hubby got home.
Solution: Get someone to come in and help. I felt so bad about getting someone, I could hear my mother telling me how lazy I was getting someone to come help with cleaning a 2 bed apartment and ironing for 2 people. So I opted to have her come in every 2 weeks. I figured the other week I could hold the fort, just so I could prove to myself that I could do it.
The next problem was finding the right person. I thought I could just go on gumtree to look for a char. My husband didnt want me alone with a strange person while he wasnt home so I couldnt look for a stranger online. A friend recommended someone from church but the lady was not available on my days so she recommended someone else. Risky yes, but at that point I had a room full of bedding and clothes that needed to be ironed. I was desperate.
I got a lovely young lady I got on well with. At the end of 2012 she left for the holidays. Now as you know, holidays are just relaxed days. Hubby and I cleaned the house, but didnt do any ironing. Laundry we did, but just dumped it on the spare bed. I was looking forward to having my friend come in to help me at least with that.
Imagine my shock when I sent her a message and she tells me she is in Joburg and she wont be coming back....... I am still in shock, I guess that is why I am putting it down here. A simple 'goodbye Karabo, I wont be coming back' would have been nice. Now I am back to where I was last year and searching for someone like her.
Good help is hard to find, especially in a strange land. If I was in Botswana I would ask my mother to help me get someone. Now I have to ask friends and hope they know someone trustworthy and good.
Actually, when I first moved here I would get so bored that I would clean everyday and actually handwash his clothes (even though I reacted to detergent). It gave me something to do, at the end of the day at least I would have done that. But I would be dog tired and extra depressed when dear hubby got home.
Solution: Get someone to come in and help. I felt so bad about getting someone, I could hear my mother telling me how lazy I was getting someone to come help with cleaning a 2 bed apartment and ironing for 2 people. So I opted to have her come in every 2 weeks. I figured the other week I could hold the fort, just so I could prove to myself that I could do it.
The next problem was finding the right person. I thought I could just go on gumtree to look for a char. My husband didnt want me alone with a strange person while he wasnt home so I couldnt look for a stranger online. A friend recommended someone from church but the lady was not available on my days so she recommended someone else. Risky yes, but at that point I had a room full of bedding and clothes that needed to be ironed. I was desperate.
I got a lovely young lady I got on well with. At the end of 2012 she left for the holidays. Now as you know, holidays are just relaxed days. Hubby and I cleaned the house, but didnt do any ironing. Laundry we did, but just dumped it on the spare bed. I was looking forward to having my friend come in to help me at least with that.
Imagine my shock when I sent her a message and she tells me she is in Joburg and she wont be coming back....... I am still in shock, I guess that is why I am putting it down here. A simple 'goodbye Karabo, I wont be coming back' would have been nice. Now I am back to where I was last year and searching for someone like her.
Good help is hard to find, especially in a strange land. If I was in Botswana I would ask my mother to help me get someone. Now I have to ask friends and hope they know someone trustworthy and good.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Cultures
I have always believed that culture is dynamic. It has evolved so much over the years that most of what we call culture really isnt culture. I have always believed myself to be open minded when it comes to people from different places, different cultures. And I think to a certain extent I am.
But there are certain things about myself that worry me. I am only 30 years old, but I am so old fashioned and so stuck in the past that it really does worry me. When I meet or see someone from another culture, I first look at the way they are dressed, what they eat, how they speak and how they do things. Then I become shocked and surprised if they do not act or behave as I think they should behave.
Let me try be more specific. I was raised up to believe that young women behaved in a certain way, dress a certain way and do not go to certain places. When I see young women behave in a way I think is culturally different, I am saddened, why I do not know as I have always believed that culture is something that changes accordingly. My little sisters behaviour shocks me as well at times, but I think I need to be a bit open minded. I need to let go of old traditions. I need to stop looking at people and thinking "That is not how a young lady from such a place should behave".
People are more than the places they are born at, the families they are born into. We are all different and we are all entitled to living our lives the way we want, the way we choose. Our choices may not be the best, they may not be right for us or the people around us, but they are our choices.
I hope I will be a bit more open minded going forward. No more of this judging people by their looks, cultures and what not. No more
But there are certain things about myself that worry me. I am only 30 years old, but I am so old fashioned and so stuck in the past that it really does worry me. When I meet or see someone from another culture, I first look at the way they are dressed, what they eat, how they speak and how they do things. Then I become shocked and surprised if they do not act or behave as I think they should behave.
Let me try be more specific. I was raised up to believe that young women behaved in a certain way, dress a certain way and do not go to certain places. When I see young women behave in a way I think is culturally different, I am saddened, why I do not know as I have always believed that culture is something that changes accordingly. My little sisters behaviour shocks me as well at times, but I think I need to be a bit open minded. I need to let go of old traditions. I need to stop looking at people and thinking "That is not how a young lady from such a place should behave".
People are more than the places they are born at, the families they are born into. We are all different and we are all entitled to living our lives the way we want, the way we choose. Our choices may not be the best, they may not be right for us or the people around us, but they are our choices.
I hope I will be a bit more open minded going forward. No more of this judging people by their looks, cultures and what not. No more
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013
Wow! Its 2013 already!
Truth be told, nothing feels new. I know there are a lot of people who go all out to make the beginning of every year a special one, make resolutions and try make the new year different from the previous one, but I dont believe I have to wait a whole year to try something new or do something different.
Every morning I wake up is a new opportunity to do over what I need from the previous day. I used to make resolutions at the start of every year, it gave me something to look forward to, now I make daily resolutions because I really cannot afford to wait a whole year. A year really is too long. Unless I want to do something in business where the regulations says I need to wait, I will not wait for a year to start.
Which is why I find myself wondering what to do with myself today :-).
Truth be told, nothing feels new. I know there are a lot of people who go all out to make the beginning of every year a special one, make resolutions and try make the new year different from the previous one, but I dont believe I have to wait a whole year to try something new or do something different.
Every morning I wake up is a new opportunity to do over what I need from the previous day. I used to make resolutions at the start of every year, it gave me something to look forward to, now I make daily resolutions because I really cannot afford to wait a whole year. A year really is too long. Unless I want to do something in business where the regulations says I need to wait, I will not wait for a year to start.
Which is why I find myself wondering what to do with myself today :-).
Friday, December 28, 2012
Church hunting
I never thought looking for a church to worship at would be such a hassle. Churches in Botswana are all the same, its just the people that are different, so if you need a church in Botswana, you will choose one mainly based on who goes where, rarely on location or whether it meets your spiritual needs.
Well, Cape Town is different. For starters, language is the first thing. When I first moved here, we stayed in the Northern Suburbs, and we had a church 10 minutes away from our flat. We got there and it was Afrikaans day. We left for a nearby church that was English, but it felt like we were gatecrushing someone's family day, not church. After that we decided we would look for another church, I have been raised to believe that you go to the church nearest you, so I was going for that initially.
The second church we tried was in the 'location'. I am not sure if there is a nice word for 'location', the locations here are way different from the ones in Botswana, actually, there are a very South African thing and black South Africans are proud of their locations. It was a fantastic church, it was vibey, the singing was great and the sermon was just awesome. BUT...... half the things were in Xhosa or Xhosa english and I struggled to get any value from the sermon. The people were very nice, very warm, but the fact that I did not get what the preacher was trying to say bothered me way to much to want to go there for the people and the ambience. That was not what church was for (for me anyway). Plus, it was a bit of a distance to drive, I didnt want to drive all that way just to meet and greet people for a few minutes after church.
So it was back to the drawing board. We went to the English speaking church near us where we were literally visitors for close to a year. Then we found another English speaking church, it was no where near where we stayed, but it was nice and warm, the sermons were good (I could hear them), the people were warm and welcoming. I was starting to enjoy it, until we moved so far away that it didnt make sense to try drive every Sabbath, so we had to start looking again.
We eventually settled for a young English speaking church, but it was more stiff than cold, actually, it wasnt cold, just so seeped in doing things in old ways that didnt suit most people but people just went along with it. It isnt that far from where we stay, we have friends there so it works/worked. Plus, it had a lot of activities so that was a good.
:-) Then we decided to visit another church and we were blown away :-). It was good, this church lacked nothing, 10 minutes in and you feel like you really are in your Father's house. We still go to the church that we settled for, but once in a while when we want to belong to a movement and a family, we wake up extra early and start the drive to our new favourite sanctuary. We dont know a lot of people in that church, but it doesnt matter there, it feels like we are home, not with friends, but with family.
Well, Cape Town is different. For starters, language is the first thing. When I first moved here, we stayed in the Northern Suburbs, and we had a church 10 minutes away from our flat. We got there and it was Afrikaans day. We left for a nearby church that was English, but it felt like we were gatecrushing someone's family day, not church. After that we decided we would look for another church, I have been raised to believe that you go to the church nearest you, so I was going for that initially.
The second church we tried was in the 'location'. I am not sure if there is a nice word for 'location', the locations here are way different from the ones in Botswana, actually, there are a very South African thing and black South Africans are proud of their locations. It was a fantastic church, it was vibey, the singing was great and the sermon was just awesome. BUT...... half the things were in Xhosa or Xhosa english and I struggled to get any value from the sermon. The people were very nice, very warm, but the fact that I did not get what the preacher was trying to say bothered me way to much to want to go there for the people and the ambience. That was not what church was for (for me anyway). Plus, it was a bit of a distance to drive, I didnt want to drive all that way just to meet and greet people for a few minutes after church.
So it was back to the drawing board. We went to the English speaking church near us where we were literally visitors for close to a year. Then we found another English speaking church, it was no where near where we stayed, but it was nice and warm, the sermons were good (I could hear them), the people were warm and welcoming. I was starting to enjoy it, until we moved so far away that it didnt make sense to try drive every Sabbath, so we had to start looking again.
We eventually settled for a young English speaking church, but it was more stiff than cold, actually, it wasnt cold, just so seeped in doing things in old ways that didnt suit most people but people just went along with it. It isnt that far from where we stay, we have friends there so it works/worked. Plus, it had a lot of activities so that was a good.
:-) Then we decided to visit another church and we were blown away :-). It was good, this church lacked nothing, 10 minutes in and you feel like you really are in your Father's house. We still go to the church that we settled for, but once in a while when we want to belong to a movement and a family, we wake up extra early and start the drive to our new favourite sanctuary. We dont know a lot of people in that church, but it doesnt matter there, it feels like we are home, not with friends, but with family.
Thursday, December 27, 2012
2 years and counting
At the beginning of December, my DH and I celebrated our 2nd year in marriage. 2 full years together. It has been a trully wonderful experience. Sure we have our ups and downs, but we have had a lot more ups than downs. It has been so good that everytime I wake up and everytime I go to sleep I cannot but marvel at what God has done for me. God has just opened up the flood gates of blessings and showered me with the blessing that is my husband.
I have trying to get a job in Cape Town for an equal amount of time if not longer, that has been the most challenging and trying bit. The loneliness, the disappointments, the applying and not getting any feedback. It has been hard, but my baby has been my strong pillar and I know that what I may lack in terms of earthly material I do not need. I have a good man by my side. And I suppose I havent really been lonely and bored. I have managed to keep myself busy with my motivational blog, so busy that I have been forgetting this one. Plus studying towards my Masters has been a good experience as well, after the break I took this past term, I am good and ready to start in the new year :-). Its a wonderful to look forward to. I do not have any resolutions for 2013 and I am not going to make any, I have enough happening in my life to know that I definately do not need them :-). I dont want to waste my time with lists that I do not need.
No more lists for me, I will try new things, but I will definately make lists out of it. One day at a time, one thing at a time. If something doesnt work, it will definately get thrown out the window. Life is too short to spend it trying to make things that are seemingly not working work.
I have trying to get a job in Cape Town for an equal amount of time if not longer, that has been the most challenging and trying bit. The loneliness, the disappointments, the applying and not getting any feedback. It has been hard, but my baby has been my strong pillar and I know that what I may lack in terms of earthly material I do not need. I have a good man by my side. And I suppose I havent really been lonely and bored. I have managed to keep myself busy with my motivational blog, so busy that I have been forgetting this one. Plus studying towards my Masters has been a good experience as well, after the break I took this past term, I am good and ready to start in the new year :-). Its a wonderful to look forward to. I do not have any resolutions for 2013 and I am not going to make any, I have enough happening in my life to know that I definately do not need them :-). I dont want to waste my time with lists that I do not need.
No more lists for me, I will try new things, but I will definately make lists out of it. One day at a time, one thing at a time. If something doesnt work, it will definately get thrown out the window. Life is too short to spend it trying to make things that are seemingly not working work.
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