Memories

There is a song that goes: 'Are you making any memories as you go along the way.....'

Just this week I was reminded of old memories. My time in Welkom, South Africa. After a year in Welkom, I wanted out. The place had been taxing and draining. Yes, I met some very nice people :-).
Well, the other day we were discussing conflict resolution with Farai and I was reminded of some pretty nasty situations I found myself in when I was in Welkom, yes, I didnt address the issue back then, instead I choose to run. I figured I didnt have the strength and energy for confrontation and I was afraid that if I didnt win I would feel even worse so I ran home to my mum. :-) my mum is great!!

But then I was reminded of all the guys who had hit on me then, and they were many and varied. I remembered comments about them from my friends back then. Apparently one was like a 'pantsola' :-) lol, he was a nice guy, I kinda liked him but something about him screamed no and I said no! Then came a dagga smoking 'rasta' guy, he was cute cos he was shy, :-) lol!!! But no, he wasnt the one. And then there was the intelligent engineer who started drinking like a fish and made the mistake of answering my cellphone one day! And who also tried to spend a night with me. Back then, my theory was, all Batswana guys wanted someone to sleep with and so I said no. I am special and the only man I would ever be with is my husband. Though I was accused of being old fashioned I am glad I kept that up :-). I gained a lot more in my husband.

Memory lane was sweet, sweet because I look back and I am glad I made the right choices with regard to dating and no sex before I was married. Memory lane reminded me how blessed I was to have Farai by my side. Going back in time showed me how God has been and is in my life. Last week I prayed and said God, like you opened Elisha's servant's eyes to see the host of angels surrounding them and protecting them, open my eyes as well to see you and boy he did open my eyes. I am blessed :-) we serve an awesome God

Gabs-Lusaka-Cpt-Gabs

I am back.......
Been gone 2 weeks now. :-) Must admit I had lots of fun! Ok, Lusaka wasnt all that and a part of me knew it wouldnt be wow. Training was ok, the lady supposed to be training wasnt exactly knowledgeable on the subject. It was a waste of my time! Even though the company was paying for me to be there, I could have used the time wisely. I felt bad, like I was robbing the company of time and money!! And to make it worse, the lady treated us like we were some poor stupid africans!! I dont like being treated like I dont have a brain.

:-) Cape Town!!! Well, that was wow!!! I had a beautiful time with my husband. It was a foretaste of what our life would be after the 5th of December and I absolutely love it!! Farai is a true gem! I love this partnership and I have God to thank for creating us for each other.

Back home now and not looking forward to going to work tomorrow. :-( got a pain on my back even, :-( stress!! Its not a difficult job, but I work with people who are constantly trying to prove that they are capable and good by putting me down and belittling what i do even though I know they dont have half the brains I do. :-) I am fearfully and wonderfully made!! Daughter of the most high, why am I afraid of people who have no Jesus? They need to see him in me, I need to walk with my head held high, work hard, love life and everyone around me.
:-) With that...... I am ready for the week!!! Plus, tomorrow is a day closer to my wedding day and living with Farai :-) :-)

The God in me

I have a number of things on my mind tonight. :-) nothing hectic or cryptic or painful!
One of my devotions this morning was on Moses and the burning bush. A truly wonderful and inspired story. Bottom line, it's not about me, its not me.... :-) Its the God in me! Reminds me of the song Mary Mary sings, the God in me :-)! I am not doing anything, its not about me and I need to stop making everything about me! Thank you Lord for the gentle and sweet reminder!

:-( cant remember the second thing!! But I think there is a third.

Third..... The Real Time Faith lesson for this week is just oh so what I needed right now! Its about HANDLING EMOTIONS!! That is a power packed lesson. The verses are:
Philippians 4:13 (NKJV)
• “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

John 16:33 (NIV)
• “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
• “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”

How powerful is that!? My God loves me so much, I have nothing to be afraid of, I have no need for anything for He provides even before I ask.

:-) I am just thinking that even God providing me with a husband was a seemingly long process to me, but now when I look at my husband, I cant help but smile and thank God for the man He has given me! A man who loves and fears God. A man who loves and adores me :-) who inspires me, who makes me so happy! :-) Thank you Lord Jesus for pouring your love for me in Farai. Thank you Lord

:-) I have remembered the third thing, On the CQ website is a blog on Letting go and Letting God. And the author talks about how God led her to leaving facebook! Something I also feel inspired to leave. And guess what? She nailed the real reason why facebook!!
This is what she says;

'Now, after finally letting go and letting God have His way on this issue in my life, I don’t feel burdened by my tendency to compare myself to others, which for me, social networking only made worse. I no longer feel guilty for not listening to my conscience. Now my prayer is: “O Lord, may we live our lives to Your glory and honor. May we make staying in touch with you our first priority with every new morning You give us the gift of life. May we not argue with the urgings of Your Holy Spirit. May we be still and know that You are God and that You are in control. May we trust as it says in Jeremiah 29:11, that Your will for our lives is far better than our own. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.” '

I think facebook depresses me because it seems like we are all competing. Who has the nicest whatever and will put it up for the rest of us to see and envy and if I dont have it it seems like something is missing in my life! Too much comparison. My life is full, busting at the seems even! God has been extremely good to me, nothing is lacking in my mind. December will be my last day on fb, if not earlier. :-) I am loving the blod :-)

Warrior is a child.............

There is a song, I dont quite remember how it goes but the whole message is around what do you do after you have fallen, after your heart has been broken and you are so sad, where do you go when you dont know where to go, when you dont know what to do with yourself!

I guess the questions above are not why I am blogging today. The response says you just stand, in His presence, you just stand! You dont have to say anything, dont have to do anything, you just stand!

:-( it doesnt make sense, am feeling so low, weepy even, but I dont know why. :-( and the devil is capitalising on that, reminding me of all the things that have ever hurt me in life :-(. How do you bury the hurt? No, not bury, I have buried it and it keeps resurfacing. I want it gone! Never to return! Life at times is painful, you love so much, you do so much for those you love and they do so little for you or nothing :-(
Is this the unconditional love that God wants us to have? To love so much and get nothing back and expect nothing? I guess I am far from it cos I want to be loved back, in the same manner that I love. :-( that's selfish I know!
I wish I could say it doesn't matter. Lord Jesus, take my hurts away, the bad memories, replace them with happy thoughts, with a happy present as the past we cant undo!
Lord, sometimes the gifts and talents you give us also hurt us. I dont know how to explain this but you understand. For once Lord, I want to be one of those people who are receiving from family and friends. Not to always be the one people expect gifts from. I am not complaining about the gifts I have given out. But just once Lord, let people do something nice for me. :-( am I asking for too much? Without me asking or complaining to them, I want to be remembered and to receive gifts of love. Maybe I am asking too much Lord. Help me not to expect too much from my family and friends Lord Jesus, in the same manner as I have been committing everything to you and you have been helping me Lord, let us continue. Forgive my selfish thoughts
Thank you, for I feel a lot better.

Wedding preparations

:-) I have just been reliably informed that I am a bit too hasty in the wedding preparations, i.e. the dancing lessons should start ideally in September and not now! At least I have a name and number of someone who can assist!
:-)

Friends are friends forever!

Interesting, or rather we serve an awesome God who never ceases to amaze me! I was saddened, because I couldn't understand why our friendship was seemingly going down the drain! :-) guess what God said to me? He asked me what I was doing to nurture and grow that friendship and guess what, I wasn't doing anything! In essence, if I want good friends, I need to be a good friend! Even to the friends that I have!
:-) Thank you God for answered prayers!

Dont let the sun go down.....

I am mad, dont know if I have any right to be mad!! :-( I hate feeling like I am being used! I hate feeling like I am always doing things for people who are never there for me, even for the smallest things! How hard is it to do something for someone? :-( I am not happy!!!

Procastination

This is definately the thief of time :-(!!! I had a marvelous idea, it included mining the brains of one of the most intelligent historians this country has ever seen who also happens to be related to my mum! And guess what, I kept delaying, for years and years I shelved the project. I discussed it with tonnes of people but never got anything off the ground :-(!! He passed away today :-(

No more procastination!!

Good Monday

:-( feeling sick, funky lunch!! Not having the same thing tomorrow.

Training is very very cool though. Having lots of fun and learning a lot on leadership as well, plus its getting my creative juices flowing.
That reminds me, need to put together a complete invite! Need to be organised! And I need to start packing :-)

Joy beyond measure

I cant explain it, but I am feeling so happy, so warm, so inspired. Like I have been given a new lease on life! Reminds me of the first time I went to UB, I was so so happy. Deep down, I would walk to campus and all I could see where the flowers, ideas were overflowing in my mind. It felt like God was right there, telling me that it will all be okay, that I will excel, that I will meet wonderful people.
:-) I have the exact same feeling right now! I have this wonderful feeling that everything is going alright, that I am going to succeed!! That I dont have to worry about anything. It feels like I am walking into a new season and I so cant wait :-). I am so so exctited, got out all these books that I feel I should read, I guess now I just need to create the time to read them.
I think I should go bed and bask in the glory and goodness of God :-)

Be still my soul

A friend asked me: 'Would you rather have a bigger cheque, more benefits or be married to Farai'? And without thinking I said, married to Farai of course!!

I must admit, there are days when i get so ... whats the word? Afraid!! That's the word!!! Why I don't know. Afraid of the future, afraid of its uncertainty! God says he has not given us a spirit of fear.... He says perfect love casts out all fear :-)
When Farai asked me to marry him, I wasnt afraid of the future (in fact i was so glad i was going to quit my boring job)! But then my dad spoke against my quitting my job...i have always looked up to my dad and valued his advise (even where i could see it was wrong).
:-( it feels like i have to choose between my dad and my husband, do i have to? In this instance though, my husband wins. Yes, I have days when I can hear my dad's voice speaking out against my quitting. :-) but i can hear another friend saying 'Surely your dad hasnt seen the way Farai looks at you, Farai loves you and that will be more than enough'.

And another friend said the most profound statement, "God is listening!!"

I have been blessed with a great husband who reminded me that, "We have nothing to fear for the future least we forget how the Lord has led us in the past........we need to trust him......we also need to be still".

And God himself is telling me that if he provided for the widow in the old testament, he will do much more for me! :-) I am blessed!!

Happy Birthday Karabo

Today is my birthday. :-) Woke up at 2am to a beautiful message from my husband! Sent at 12:04! And the whole day I was just blessed with messages and blessings from friends and God awed me through the pastor. :-) Thank you Lord Jesus :-)

:-) Getting my gift from my love in July when I go to Cape Town, :-) cant wait!!!

And do not forget to entertain strangers...

The text for the sermon today was from Genesis 18:1-8
The story were Abraham is sitting at the door of his tent and sees 3 strangers and runs to them and begs them to take a rest stop in his tent. They agree, he runs to Sarah and asks her to bake 3 cakes and Sarah doesn't even ask why, but bakes the cakes which Abraham gives to the gentlemen.

How many people would do that in this day and age? Invite not just any visitors, but strangers into their homes. I know it would be difficult for me to do that, I would think of all the evil that might befall me if I were to do such a thing! But the bible says some of us have entertained angels unawares. Surely people were still evil in those days, after all, the 3 men were on the way to destroy Sodom and Gomorrah because of the evil in those cities! Why are we so afraid of man? Cant God take care of us? I am sure he can and I pray that my hubby and I can be like Abraham and Sarah, entertaining the strangers that God brings our way. I pray also for protection and the ability to discern those who will want to do us harm.

It was such a humble inspiring sermon..... A call to true Christian living, not just the lip service that we pay to Christianity.

Submission

Okay, so I am not too regular :-)!! So the other day I was reading an interesting article on submission.....in marriage and what it meant!
I have always thought I knew what submission was (I still do actually)! But I just thought it was interesting. The lady, was describing what she used to think was submission and I sort of thought of that was submission as well.
I was taught that the husband as the head of the home takes care of worship and devotion in the home and that its not the wife's duty to do that, that if she does that then the husband isnt doing his job!
How does this relate to the verse that we are different, we are all part of one body, that we have different gifts and talents? Why should we use the verse in Ephesians in exclusion to the whole bible?
Ephesians 5:22-24 says:²²For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. ²³For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the ^aSavior of his body, the church. ²⁴As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

In the same was that the church submits to Christ, I am supposed to submit to my husband. In as much as I use my talents and gifts to the glory and edification of Christ, I am supposed to do the same to my husband. Love him, care for him, adore him and use my talents and gifts and resources for the advancement (in all spheres) of our family. This does not mean sitting and waiting for my hubby to 'bring home the bacon', it means meeting my husband by the gate (or wherever) and helping him carry the 'bacon' inside, cutting it while he rests, and making sure the different pieces last us long and they go where they are supposed to go! It means I don't keep quiet when I have something to say or an idea. Its a partnership, a loving partnership where both members give and take equally.

Marriage 101

Okay,

So I decided to start blogging about marriage :-). Where to start, where to start!?

What is marriage? Without being overly complicated (for I am really a simple chick), for me, marriage is a union of two people who love each other and want to share their dreams, vision, love with each other forever and ever with God leading and guiding both of you as to how to love each other more and care for each other more daily! :-) God is the glue in marriage really, :-) he provides the inspiration, the love, the ideas to keeping each other happy through it all.

One might think that I am not an expect seeing I am recently married, but for me, there wasnt really a transition from courting to engaged to marriage, no! :-) my baby has been consistent through it all and loved me ever so much (just thinking about him :-) puts a smile on my face). God has loved me ever so much and given me a rare and priceless gem in my husband! I want to serve God more by loving him more and more daily. We usually hear of the Proverbs 31 woman, I want to be more than that woman, and I know that God is going to help me be more than that woman.

I have 232 days to go before the 1st of our ceremonies, we are having 2 ceremonies to celebrate our marriage, one on the 5th of December 2010 in Jackalas No 1, Botswana and the last one on the 12th December 2010 in Gweru December. From tomorrow, I will be blogging more about my preparations for these 2 ceremonies and will try to put up references about any interesting stuff I find out

The couple :-)

:-) Me and my hubby. I love this man so so much

Lobola

Ok, my last post was labelled 'lobola', what exactly does that mean? In the African culture, when two people decide to get married, lobola/ dowry has to be paid by the man to the lady's family.
Most people argue that they are paying for their bride, but its really a token of appreciation that is meant to cement the relationship between two families. Its a token to say, I (as the man) appreciate the time, care that you have taken to care and teach my wife how to love me and take care of our family.

My lobola was loads of fun! I am Kalanga and getting married to a lovely Shona man, so the day was full of exciting fun! My favourite part was the part were I was covered and taken to my new 'family'.

Lobola

Recently married to Mr Farai Jhamba :-), on the 4th of April at Jackalas no 1 Village. :-) this blog is still like a solo project so i guess for now i can ramble on and on and just be!
I suppose i should start on marriage :-) seeing i am recently married. will upload a couple of pics and try to be regular to my blog